FOR 14 years protection officer Dick Griffin was ever-present at the Queen’s side and witnessed her wicked sense of humour.
This week the retired policeman joined The Sun’s legendary snapper Arthur Edwards on our Royal Exclusive YouTube show to reveal some hilarious untold stories about Her Majesty.
And he told host Matt Wilkinson, The Sun’s Royal Editor, what really went on in some better-known incidents that happened to Her Majesty.
It comes as the Royal Family will mark the second anniversary of the death of Elizabeth II tomorrow.
Some of those who worked for her have been telling never-before heard stories about the much-loved monarch’s life.
Welshman Dick, now 73, had previously worked with Prince Edward and Prince Philip before being assigned as one of the Queen’s personal bodyguards.
Here, he recalls just some of the unforgettable moments.
TRAPPED IN A CAR DOOR
DICK recalls how the Queen’s hat became trapped in a car door thanks to a nervous protection officer on his first assignment.
He says: “I sent him up to Balmoral with the Queen, who was just going to stay for the weekend.
“I said to the chap, ‘She’ll probably go for a few walks with the dogs and then you take her to church on Sunday’.
“They came back and I was taking her on the Monday to a private engagement, so it gave me a chance to speak to her about the new protection officer.
“I said, ‘How did things go?’.
“She said he was ‘really, really nice. I like him, he’ll be a good addition to the team, but he’s very, very nervous’.
We’re all terrified when we first work with the Queen and I asked why she thought he was so nervous.
She replied: “He took me to church on Sunday and he opened the car door.
“And as I got into the back seat, he slammed the door on me before I was halfway in the car.
“So, I hit my shoulder and my big hat got stuck in the door.
“Rather than upset him, because I knew he was rather uptight, I went to church with my hat pinned in the door’”
Dick recalls: “I remember watching the news that night and wondering why she was sitting in such a strange angle but it just shows what a lovely lady she was.”
HIT BY A GROUSE
IN terrible weather, Dick was standing beside the Queen as she watched a grouse shoot when Her Majesty suddenly disappeared.
He recalls: “I quickly looked around and she was lying at my feet.”
Dick quickly realised one of the guns had shot a grouse, which fell out of the sky and hit the Queen.
He says: “You can imagine a chicken falling down from 200ft and landing on top of you.
“Oh, God. There she was, blood and gore and feathers.
“She subsequently found that, she’d broken a couple of ribs.
“I had to stand her up and very discreetly try to brush her down to get all these feathers and bits and pieces off her.
“I remember her saying to me, ‘For goodness sake, just get on with it and clean me up’.
“And I remember saying, ‘I really shouldn’t be doing this, your majesty — your husband’s over there with a double-barrelled shotgun’.
“I read a story recently in one of the books alleging a policeman went down and gave mouth-to-mouth. It’s nonsense.”
I hope when that tourist gets back to America and shows those pics of him & me, someone will tell him who I am
Queen Elizabeth
AMERICAN ENCOUNTER
AFTER the Queen died we learnt that, while walking near Balmoral, she had met two American holidaymakers who did not recognise the most famous woman in the world.
Dick was with her that day and, for the first time, he revealed what really happened.
He says: “It was obvious from the moment we stopped that the American gentleman hadn’t recognised the Queen.
“Which is fair enough, because she had a Barbour jacket on and a headscarf.
“Where do you live?’, he asked.
“Well,’ she said, “I live in London but I’ve got a holiday home just the other side of the hill.
“I’ve been coming up here since I was a little girl, over 80 years.’
“Then he said, ‘You must have met the Queen’.
“And, as quick as a flash, she replied, ‘Well, I haven’t, but Dick here meets her regularly’.
“He says, ‘Wow, you meet the Queen. What’s she like?’
“I couldn’t resist, because I knew she had a wonderful sense of humour. ‘Well, she’s very cantankerous at times’.
“Before I could stop him, he comes across, puts his arm around my shoulder, gives his camera to the Queen, and asks her to take a picture of the two of us.
“Then we swap places and I take a photograph of them with the Queen.
“We wave goodbye and never let on.
“I remember the Queen saying to me, ‘I just hope when he gets back to America and he shows those photographs to his friends, someone will tell him who I am’.”
MARATHON MAN
DICK was a keen runner and the Queen was always interested in how he got on in his races.
He says: “For my 100th full marathon, my running club, Blackheath And Bromley Harriers laid on a little party for me.
“The club president wrote to the Palace and asked if it was possible the Queen could write a letter, not expecting a reply.
“Back comes the letter with the usual platitudes you’d expect but there is one line, ‘Aren’t you lucky to have such a wonderful employer who allows you so much time off to take part in these events?’”
We gave her a £3 wind-up duck for Xmas. Aides gave posh gifts. They got a 3-line thank you note… we got a page of A4
Dick Griffin
TOY DUCK
AT Christmas, the Royal Family always exchanged silly joke gifts.
One year, her protection officers gave the Queen a wind-up plastic duck that cost £3 from a flea market.
The toy duck would go round the room, and hit the wall before laying a plastic egg and play music.
Dick remembers: “My wife wrapped it up beautifully and it was given to the Queen.
“I said, ‘If there’s any comeback. I’m the one to blame’.
“After Christmas, her Private Secretary said, ‘We gave the Queen beautiful gifts.
“We got a three-line letter of thanks — you guys got an A4 written letter from the Queen.’ ”
CLOTHES SWAP
DURING a walk in the hills on a beautiful summer’s day, the weather changed very quickly and the Queen did not have any waterproofs with her.
This meant Dick had to run down the hill to get the monarch’s clothing from a truck.
He says: “Being a gentleman, I took off my Barbour jacket and wrapped it round her.
“I gave her my scarf and my gloves too.
“As I walked off, I took off my shooting hat and put it on top of her headscarf and said, ‘Well, your Majesty, you’ve got the rest of my clothes. You might as well have my hat’. Fortunately she laughed.
“I went down the hill, got the waterproofs and brought them back.
“I thought no more of it.
“Three weeks later she calls me to her office and hands me an envelope.
“She’d had a photograph taken of her, dressed in all my clothes.
“She’d put it in a beautiful silver frame, and said, ‘I want you to keep that as a souvenir of that very, very funny afternoon we had in Scotland’.”
She gave me a framed photo of her dressed in my clothes ‘as souvenir of a very, very funny afternoon we had in Scotland’
Dick Griffin
WALKABOUT CHAOS
ON walkabouts, the Queen would never pass a child holding flowers without greeting them.
Dick says: “Prince Philip got one side of the road and Her Majesty would go to the other.
“But Prince Philip would get his police officers to lift the kids on his side of the road over the barriers to go across to present their flowers to the Queen.
“The police used to get really agitated about these kids running across to the Queen.
“They were not worried about security.
“But we were left with 50 kids whose parents we couldn’t find.”
PRINCESS MARGARET
ON Royal Exclusive, Arthur Edwards tells a story he heard recently about a bodyguard who received an MVO — Member of the Victorian Order Medal— from the Queen for protecting Princess Margaret for 12 years.
The Queen is said to have told him: “Wow, you deserve something more than a medal for looking after my sister for 12 years”.
Wow! You deserve something more than a medal for looking after my sister for 12 years
Queen Elizabeth
Nun other than Her Majesty’s funniest joke
ONE of the Queen favourite jokes involves a cow and a Mother Superior.
The gag was later shared by her trusted stud manager Terry Pendry, who accompanied the late monarch on horse rides for nearly 30 years.
Terry, who stood solemnly alongside the late Queen’s favourite pony Emma during her funeral procession, recalled the conversation on the Rosebud With Gyles Brandreth podcast.
The joke was told to the Queen by priest Martin Poll before a service at the Chapel Royal, Windsor.
Terry, now 74, was riding with Her Majesty in the grounds of Windsor Castle when they came to field with some cows.
The Queen looked at her groom and said: “Mother Superior, she’s dying”.
Terry was confused, so the Queen explained: “It’s a joke.
“All the nuns gathered round the bed and one nun said, ‘Well, we must offer Mother Superior a fresh glass of water’, so they duly did that and Mother Superior dismissed it and said, ‘Take it away, I don’t want that’.
The Queen continued: “The nun said, ‘I know, let’s capture our very best cow and we’ll milk her and offer a fresh glass of milk’.
“They offered Mother Superior this fresh glass of milk and Mother Superior said, ‘Don’t want it, take it away’.
“A very naughty nun said, ‘I know, let’s put a real good glug of whisky in the milk, see if that will work’.
“So they duly did that and Mother Superior drank the whole darn thing down.
“Two days later, that Mother Superior is going to pass into the better world.
“All the nuns gathered round her bed and said ‘Do you have any final requests?’, and she said, ‘Yes: whatever you do, do not sell that cow’.”
Terry recalls the horse’s reins bouncing up and down as the Queen could not contain her laughter.
Our favourite quips from the Queen. . .
WHEN a guest’s mobile phone rang just as she was introduced to the Queen at a Palace garden party, the monarch said: “You’d better answer that. It might be someone important.”
- ASKED why she wears bright colours, the Queen said: “If I wore beige, nobody would know who I am.”
- AT the 2016 Chelsea Flower Show, she listened as a herb expert told how Lily Of The Valley used to be used as a poison, then said: “I’ve been given two bunches this week. Perhaps they want me dead.”
- AN elderly lady spotted Her Majesty coming out of a bakery in Sandringham and exclaimed: “Good heavens, you look just like the Queen!” Her Majesty replied: “How reassuring.”
- DURING a Christmas break at Sandringham, the Queen was surprised when snappers did not take her photo as she was unloading seven dogs from her car. When a policeman explained that they were instructed not to harass her, she said: “I don’t know what’s worse, being harassed or being ignored.”
- NOTICING that PM Margaret Thatcher had taken a seat for a quick rest during a reception for diplomats at Buckingham Palace, the Queen said: “Oh look, she’s keeled over again.”